Well if you go down to the bar tonite 
you could be in for a big surprise 
'cas they'll be shakin' those drapes 
an' stompin' those crepes 
an' swingin' those bunches-a-fives 

And they'll be bangin' on the counters 
stampin' on the dough-nuts 
layin' to waste all the bacon rolls 
and be wadin' 'round in the rubble 
on the look-out for any trouble 
with big lead pipes and long poles 

And they'll be removing all the table-cloths 
chopping up the tables 
and redecorating the men's-room 
Tearin' down the ceiling 
sendin' coathangers reelin´ 
While the juke-box blows a tune 

Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble tonight 
Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble tonight 

And they'll be tearin' up the 'phone-books 
rippin up the menus 
tiltin' all the pin-ball machines 
manglin' up the perculators 
turnin' off the circulators 
burnin' those sandals and jeans 

An' they'll be strippin' down the walls 
tearin' up the pumps 
re-locating all the cups and plates 
dislocatin' shoulders 
heavin' piles of boulders 
through the windows 
with big iron crates 

And there'll be swearin' in the alley 
bowling at the Palais 
dog-shows at the town hall too 
National networked broadcasts 
new names and dates in who's who

'This is the Police department speakin!
Come out with your hands up 
We've got your surrounded 
Stand up against the line there buddy 
Who dialed 999? Up against the wall there:
'This has been a Public Health announcement: 

Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble Tonite 
Oh oh at the Vegetable Rumble...